Sunday, June 27, 2010

Living in Boxes

I’m moving. That ranks first, third and not at all on the list of 10 most stressful things in life you can do, depending on which list you consult. Interestingly enough: the list that did NOT list moving as one of the 10 most stressful things to do DID list three versions of breakup, jail term, marriage and pregnancy. Which goes to proof that being single was a very smart choice. It cuts down the clutter of stress lists to bereavement, moving and jail term, the latter of which I (so far) have been able to avoid. But moving I now must.

But what happens to “moving”, when it becomes: “I thought I was moving, but now I might be moving next week, but maybe I won’t move next week but next month instead?” I think it goes off the chart of stressful and into a list all of its own, filed somewhere under: “it’s complicated”, “I don’t want to talk about it”, “great excuse to excuse yourself and not be on time, not find ANYTHING, live in a mess, have cracked fingernails and a constant dust allergy cold and in general be in a real foul mood” – after all you ARE super stressed!

I’m living in boxes. Box #16 holds a lot of the stuff I packed when I thought I’d move next week and I’ve been eyeing #16. Do I open #16? If I open #16 do I also open #2 which also has stuff I need? Do I learn to life without content of box #16 and #2? What precedent do I set if I start opening boxes? Will I fill them with OTHER stuff and rewrite the packing list, or will I leave #16 open and put the stuff back in just before I move?

No wonder moving is stressful.

Everything I take into my hands now is suspiciously eyed under the scrutiny of a move pending, not confirmed, but happening somewhere in the near (or not so near) future. Will this be an item that goes into one of the ‘last minute’ boxes? How many of those ‘last minute’ boxes will I have? Do I pack them the morning of the move or the night before? What could happen that would make this item unnegotiable necessity? Do I need this thing for my summer vacation? Will I move before or after?… arghhhh.

I’m moving; and I will have a new address – soon.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Whoes Reality is it?

“As a documentarian I happily place my fate and faith in reality. It is my caretaker, the provider of subjects, themes, experiences – all endowed with the power of truth and the romance of discovery. And the closer I adhere to reality the more honest and authentic my tales. After all, the knowledge of the real world is exactly what we need to better understand and therefore possibly to love one another. It’s my way of making the world a better place.” Albert Maysles

As documentary film makers we grapple with reality every day. We portray reality in our films and we want others to experience it as well. But we need to take Albert Maysles quote a step further and ask: WHOSE REALITY; mine, the subjects, yours? What is the viewer’s reality – will the viewer see what I saw? On what journey can I take the viewer without losing credibility? Do I have to cater to the smallest common denominator?

I was in a mosque showing my film Abraham’s Children a few days ago. I thought my audiences and my common ground would be the ‘love’ for the children in the film and the acknowledgement of their lives as Americans, students, athletes, academics and practicing Muslims. But the reality for one woman in the audience was much different. She could not get passed the fact that the more liberal families where in the same film and “next to” the conservative families that in her eyes where the only true Muslims.

That was incredibly hard for me to hear, just on a human level, because I know that those families would strongly disagree. What was this woman’s reality to openly express that concern? Was it pure ignorance? I think not, she’s a convert. Was it arrogance?

I can tell you what my reality was: I was standing in a mosque, un-chaperoned as the only non-Muslim and very keenly aware of those facts. I also felt badly equipped to argue my point as I was in a house of worship.

Where do the experiences of two individuals cross and where do we “see” the same thing differently? Who am I to determine what my subject’s reality is? What I see as wrong another person sees as absolute right. Is this just a different opinion, or is one of us lying?